Ethereal-Euphoria

To my astonishment I dived in again. The same way. Maybe deeper this time. Aren't we the same forever. We want everything in life. Knowing. We wont have everything. We keep sailing our boats. Sometimes against each other.   And we still dive. Knowing. It will hurt. Knowing all good things come to an end. Almost all good things - We wish.   We take the fall. Joyously. Fearfully. Excited and nervous. We know how we will be left. How we could be left. We do it anyway. To see how long it lasts. Forever?   How it will leave us. Broken down. Sinking. Drowning. Angry and heart broken. Self loathing and lost.   Then. We will push our selves to reach the shore. To make it to some place safe. Feeble and weak. With our hearts pounding and aching. Looking for someone to hear us out. And not wanting to say a word. Scarred and wiser.   Do we ever lose hope? Our stories are engraved then in our souls and on our skins. Etched. Never to be erased. Eyes, if t...

As I lit a cigarette in the night. The night grew more still. Those deserted streets of the night. In the silence even the soft breeze made itself not go unheard. I realized my seclusion in the moment. In the clatter of the day. I forget. We forget. The solitariness of our hearts.  I always long for these moments in the day, in the chaos of my life, to be on my own. Solitude brings peace to my mind. I am surrounded by the people I love. I miss them when they are not around. But in their presence I find myself searching for escapes. To be with myself.   I fear myself. "Am I selfish. Am I insane. Am I a person so detached, being recluse. Do I not value the people I love."   But in this moment the graveness of the silence sank into me. The loneliness made my heart suffocate.   Then I watched a man on the street walk by. I couldn't see his face. He wasn't someone I knew, I know that. He was far, even in this quiescence I couldn't hear his steps.  ...

When things looked down she smiled so bravely. In the storms, I always saw her calm. I called her a little ball of sunshine. As cheesy as it sounds.   I wanted to believe she is naive and ignorant. I wanted to believe she has never seen pain. She has never been hurt. That optimism is not for someone who has seen the reality of the world. In this curiosity I said to her once, what makes you so darn content and calm in life.   She had a story to tell.  Then she told me what it felt when the first time to see her world fell apart.  When it did, she let all hell break loose. Opened all the doors and let the pain barge in. Soul crushing pain. She let her heart sink in the suffocation. The time when getting out from the bed was the biggest challenge. The time when every passing moment kept getting more difficult. Her head at constant battle. Her eyes searching for a refuge. Looking for a place for a moment of quietude. Not calmness and not peace but maybe just ...

Certain people inspire you in a surprising way. These are people from whom you never expect that tap of inspiration on your head. You know you have great dreams for yourself, those things you want in life more than anything else. But as days go by, you start to float and drift through life. The petty concerns, struggles of getting by each day and the constant reminders of age old broken dreams turns you into someone who is merely surviving. They snatch away your energy to live like the fighter you are. And there you are - slowed down, cribbing, crying and whining about all that is unfair and all that you wanted but you don't have. Then you meet these people, these nonstop chatterboxes, sometimes so full of themselves you almost don't want to see them. But when they talk about their dreams, about possibilities - the sparkle in their eyes, the enthusiasm in their voice and the energy in their presence shakes you up. I call them the dreamers. They wake you up, with a jolt, from ...