Smile :)

A restless evening it was. In the crowded bus filled with noises of people..Chattering and laughing a dissonance that could disrupt the train of anybody's thoughts.

There she sat at one corner of the bus staring out of the window undisturbed. Lost.

Aloof of all the people around. Dressed in those simple jeans and shirt, hair tied in the tight braids and earphones plugged in . Contrary to how ordinary her appearance was, there was something different about her. Very different.  She was not a face in the crowd that would go unnoticed. Something had set her apart.

She stared out the window. A still gaze.  Deep eyes trying to see as far as they could.

A soft smile glittering on her face. The one she was trying to hide. It kept slithering in back each time she tried to hide.

Her smile.

What was the reason behind that smile.. Was it the view from the window the streets and the people passing by or was it the music she was listening to or some random thoughts crossing her mind. Perhaps the thoughts of some special person .Thoughts of someone she loves.

Maybe…

It is astonishing how the best of your smiles silently slip on your face from your heart only after you have felt the pain. Just when you see the light in the heart of the cruel situations of your life. You smile an incomparably beautiful smile.

And she was lost diving into the depth of her thoughts.

She was..  Lost in the misadventures of her life. She was lost peeling the layers of the ruins of her life. She was lost in the all the regrets she should grief upon. She was lost in how her life could never be simple and sorted. Unlike her friends. She was lost in the hard times she has faced lately. She was lost in the tears she has cried. She was lost in the sleepless nights she has spent. She was lost in the hours she wasted in her melancholy. Hours that later became days.. months and then a year. She was lost in how directionless she has been all the while.

And yet she was smiling. And then she wondered why. Why all the thoughts of the pains and the sufferings and the mishappenings of her life made her smile. A smile so fearless.  A smile which disagreed to sublime. A smile that made her feel like a warrior who survived the battle.

That smile was her armor which will guard her from the battles which lie ahead and she was the knight.

Joy is perhaps the answer.

Because she was lost in the lessons that have come the hard way.

Yes she was lost in the thoughts of the person she has fallen in love with. Just a while ago.

A person she has deeply grown fond of.  A person she promises to protect for the rest of her life. A person she had overlooked all the while.

She has fallen in love with herself..HERSELF!

That  shine in her eyes was the hint of a sweet pride. She smiled at herself again.. It was the smile of the lessons she has learnt .It was the smile of the person she has become. It was the smile for the diminished pains. It was the smile for the blessings she has counted. It was the smile of the strength she has felt. It was the smile of the wisdom she has gained. It was the smile for how she has come off so strong. It was the smile of the love she has found.  The love for oneself.  The most liberating feeling ever.

How much has she surprised herself.  How less did she knew of her strengths. How weak did she think she was? Never did she know she would come this far. Never did she know she would strongly face it all. Never did she know what that smile would be worth of. The smile it seems that she has earned. After all those sorrowful days and restless nights.

She knew the value of that smile.

The gratification made her serene. She knew now she was the sole reason for her own smile.

How blessed she felt in that one moment.  How blessed she felt for those few people she has in her life. How blessed she felt for the eternal support of the divine that she felt all this while.

Perhaps now she was thanking her God for being there with her through the troubled times. Or maybe just for the troubled times.

How sufferings turn into blessings. How ruin becomes bliss.

When all that she ever wanted slipped out of her hands right in front of her eyes.  She was endlessly searching was for a reason to survive.   She found her soulmate .  A person who had always needed her the most.  She found her precious self. 

And this is what made her so different from the rest. The glow on the face. The sparkle in her eyes was of the new found romance she was cherishing with herself. It was the grace that had rekindled that beautiful smile.