Oh love, Please do give up.

You never give up on people you love.

So many people out there preach the idea saying “If he really loved you he wouldn't have left. 

Or

Don’t try to stop people from leaving because those who love you won’t ever leave."

Do you believe this to be the truth? Well, my answer would be yes and no.

Sometimes you must not give up on your people but there are times when you must.

What about leaving a woman who is hurting you each day with her words? She loves you of course but everyday she is putting you down with her constant criticism no matter what you do how much you do.. how much you try your best or no matter how much you tell her she’s hurting you .

What about that husband who never ever cares about you? Who is self centered and could never even see you in the relationship?

What about that elder brother who raised all his younger siblings like a father. Yet when one of his brothers becomes alcoholic he supports the brother's family too and tries each day to bring his younger brother back to track. And one day in the fit of his anger the younger brother kills the elder one justifying that this father like figure in his life patronized him.

Where was the line to be drawn ? Should he have left his younger brother to his own destiny?

The most selfless of all forms of love is the love of parents. They never give up on their children no matter what.

Parents have been known since time immemorial to stand by their kids no matter what they do to others or to their own people.

But what about those kids who are abusive towards their own parents? Yes to our surprise there are a few such children.

There are kids out there who verbally and physically attack their own parents when their parents ask them to study or do something productive or not do anything destructive. And yes there are parents who have provided their kids the best they could in terms of emotional support or family environment yet they are rewarded with only hurts and pains from their children.

What about those kids who grow up to be teenagers threatening their own parents, damaging their property or physically harming them for money to get drugs, alcohol or even smaller things like buying phones or cars they want.

 I have seen teenagers abuse their father or push or physically hurt their mother when they are asked not to sit on computers for so long or not be with the mobile for such long hours or asked to study for their own future. Some of the basic most things parents care about.

Of course some of those kids have issues. Maybe they are being bullied outside. Maybe they have deep settled self esteem issues. Maybe they are in the wrong company. Maybe they need counseling.

Maybe the nagging woman you married was constantly criticized as a child. Maybe your husband was neglected as a child.

Everybody has their own fights. But does this really give you the right to be cruel to others? Others, who are trying to love you, Who are trying to help you? Who are doing what they can to the best of their abilities for you.

When will such people really see things clearly. When will they realize that no one else can really help them but themselves. When will they see what they are doing to the people who love them? HOW will they realize? When everybody who is trying to help will give up? When everybody who is there today for them will leave?

And for those who are keeping up with the crap that others are giving to them -

Where do you draw the line? When do you decide it’s time to give up? When do you know you have given enough? When does a mother know its time she leaves the child to his own destiny? Will she just spend all her life to help someone who is maybe beyond correction? Will she know someday that only he can help himself and no one else can? Or will she just never give up on him because she loves him too much, because so many intelligent people out there are promoting the idea that you don’t give up on who you love? Seriously, who told them that? Yes sometimes people who are difficult to love are the ones who need it the most.

But sometimes people difficult to love are simply people who are incorrigible. And their lives and relationships are hell because they are making it that way. Because it’s not that others who love them have given up on them but because they have given up on themselves. And they can’t see how much they need to change and grow and until they do that sometimes they deserve to be left to their fate. Cause others can come and tell you we are there with you. They can ask you if there’s anything they can do to help you. They can tell you that you should be strong.

But ultimately "YOU" have to be strong. Ultimately it’s your fight your journey your life . You have to figure out your way. Ultimately you have to be there to help yourself out.

And while some people might actually love you too selflessly to give up on you or might not have the courage or the right amount of self esteem to leave a situation which is beyond their control someday they will leave. Even your own parents. While some others will be smart enough to leave faster . Because they should. Because it is your story. Not theirs. Because their life is their story and that has to be the most important thing for them

Because all vows - marriage vows or parental vows that say till death do us apart come with an implicit declaration *terms and conditions apply* and I swear this is not a shortcoming or a curse but a blessing in disguise.