Midnight Ramblings - 2

To my astonishment I dived in again. The same way. Maybe deeper this time.
Aren't we the same forever. We want everything in life. Knowing. We wont have everything. We keep sailing our boats. Sometimes against each other. 

And we still dive. Knowing. It will hurt. Knowing all good things come to an end. Almost all good things - We wish. 
We take the fall. Joyously. Fearfully. Excited and nervous. We know how we will be left. How we could be left. We do it anyway. To see how long it lasts. Forever? 
How it will leave us. Broken down. Sinking. Drowning. Angry and heart broken. Self loathing and lost. 
Then. We will push our selves to reach the shore. To make it to some place safe. Feeble and weak. With our hearts pounding and aching. Looking for someone to hear us out. And not wanting to say a word. Scarred and wiser. 
Do we ever lose hope?

Our stories are engraved then in our souls and on our skins. Etched. Never to be erased. Eyes, if teary, search for new directions. Eventually. Craving for a new desire - to want everything again. 
And we will find new oceans and new shores. 

And we do. Without a pause. We dive in again. 
With all our hearts. Restricted steps. Twice shy. Reminiscing what it felt like the last time. Paralyzed with fear? Swimming across again. 

Maybe that's what truly defines us. Those stories engraved in our souls and these moments of risking ourselves again in the hope of our 'everything'. 
I have stories I'd never tell. Hidden in the deepest of the corners of my soul. Concealed and protected. They are for me. They will go away with me. But they are for me. Magical memories . Life altering moments . Life shaking moments. They are for me to revisit. Rethink and re-evaluate. They become my roots. 

And as I slap my hands on the water. Scared. Still bold. 
If I had to do it all again. I would. All the same. Again. And keep my stories intact. Wishing someday these stories make the pieces of a puzzle that I finally understand. 
Even if I never get my everything. Even if I get nothing. 

This is it. For all it's worth. 

Comments

  1. UnknownJuly 12, 2017 at 8:59 AM

    Truly thought out! You are so inspiring!

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJune 29, 2018 at 5:42 PM

    This touches the deepest parts of me. So beautiful

    ReplyDelete

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